Receiving Permanent Breakthrough

When the world started fearing Covid-19, my work quickly transitioned from an office to being at home. The move was forced by company policy change, so there was no say otherwise. I immediately struggled with work motivation and tired quickly from working in my bedroom. It was as if I was fighting myself to do even a normal day’s work. This continued for three years. It was so bad that at times I put down that I worked hours I hadn’t because I was falling behind and needed to keep up the image of staying on top of everything. I wanted to work and do it well, but I seriously struggled. Over three years, there were some times of higher productivity and motivation, but mostly times of very poor work. It was like a fight to do what was expected of a normal employee, in a normal job.

I started praying about this motivation problem right from the start of working from home because I knew it was an issue and my conscience needed to be kept pure. I got to a point where I made the decision to never put down time I hadn’t worked, even if the intention was to work it later. (The only exception was when forced to by the company). However, this didn’t solve the problem of having to fight to work more than three or four hours per day.

As I prayed more and more, I would get a breakthrough for a single day, or sometimes even a week at a time. The Holy Spirit would come upon me in a strong way and I could push through whatever was hindering me. However, I never got a permanent breakthrough, and I was always praying for another breakthrough after the last one. It was a never-ending cycle that felt very discouraging and hopeless.

After three years of going around in circles, there was a time when I was laying in bed listening to the audiobook of the Passion Translation of the Bible. It was playing from Proverbs 10.

The wisdom of Solomon: When wisdom comes to a son, joy comes to a father. When a son turns from wisdom, a mother grieves. Gaining wealth through dishonesty is no gain at all. But honesty brings you a lasting happiness. The Lord satisfies the longings of all his lovers, but he withholds from the wicked what their souls crave. Slackers will know what it means to be poor, while the hard worker becomes wealthy. Know the importance of the season you’re in and a wise son you will be. But what a waste when an incompetent son sleeps through his day of opportunity!
Proverbs 10:1-5 TPT

When the words were spoken in verse five: “What a waste when an incompetent son sleeps through his day of opportunity!” an explosion went off inside of my spirit! I was immediately quickened and a purpose and drive entered me that I had never had before. These verses played around in my mind and refused to leave. I couldn’t stop thinking that a slack son brings shame and grieving while a hard-working son brings honour and joy.

I realised very quickly that I had just had a supernatural event. I had been given an impartation from heaven that changed me on the inside and reshaped who I was. This may be hard to believe, but it’s important that you get this. I already knew I was changed before I even got off my bed to start the day.

Being over a month later, I can tell you that I have not been the same since this event happened. I have been given the ability to work hard and consistently. There are days that are battles, but it has completely flipped. I used to have days that I had a breakthrough, but now it’s the other way around – I have only some days that are a battle, and I’ve stepped into overthrow. Overthrow happens when you walk supernaturally. It cannot be done through works or effort. It is a gift from heaven that comes through meditating on the word of God.

Holy Spirit spoke to me about listening to the Bible and worship music as I sleep. When I received my impartation, I had heard those verses many many times before. However, there came a point where a supernatural transaction happened, and it only came through diligence and perseverance.

Many people need an impartation from heaven because it would resolve the troubles they are going through. If you are struggling in any area, you need an impartation. It’s that simple. Romans 12 speaks of impartation as a transformation of our mind.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2 ESV

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Romans 12:2 NLT

Before I had an impartation, I could quote these verses by memory. However, I didn’t understand the power behind this verse until I had the impartation for myself. I could also immediately see and discern that most people around me hadn’t had an impartation.

The thing about impartation is that it not only brings correction to your own life, but it also brings discernment. Discernment is also an amazing gift from Holy Spirit, which only comes supernaturally. You cannot receive an impartation or receive discernment apart from Holy Spirit and apart from heaven.

You need to submit yourself to the word of God. You need to yield to what the words are saying because they are directly from God, and they will change you. You need to keep in mind that God spoke the world into being. His words are so powerful that their sound created who we are and everything around us.

God is supernatural, and you will never enter into His will by your own effort or strength. The key here is to meditate on and yield to what the Spirit of God is saying to you. It needs to not be a one-time event after reading this, but it needs to be your lifestyle. When you change your lifestyle, you change who you are. In other words, who you are right now is not going to take you where you need to go. You must submit to the correction of Father God and let Him be your wisdom. You cannot rely on your own understanding or your own way of thinking, it must be transformed.

An important note here is that I prayed many many times, at least several hundred, if not over a thousand times about the motivation and work problem I was having. However, I could have saved myself a lot of time if I had simply yielded to the Spirit of God and listened to what He was teaching me. The answer was in the Word all along, but God hides mysteries in the pages which are only revealed to those who search them out.

I love you and I pray for you. I pray for everyone who reads this. Please make the Bible a part of your lifestyle and meditate on it continually. Keep it before you. Print out verses and put them at your work desk. Write post-it notes with verses on them. Put verses by your bedside, and fill yourself with the Bible. Keep the Word in your ears and eyes so that you are positioned to receive your impartation.

Every spiritual blessing has already been given to us through Christ Jesus, so there is no need to suffer any longer! You are losing time every moment that you don’t walk in overthrow, because you are called to your workplace to be a light. However, you cannot be a light if you are not shining. So, shine!

Your light will be very quickly shining when you get your impartation. Many people around me have noticed a dramatic change, and it has not been very long at all since the event happened. I have worked with these people for nearly eight years, and have not heard them say the things they are saying now so frequently.

You must listen to the word, especially the topics and areas where you need breakthrough the most. You will experience overthrow through the power of Holy Spirit at work in you as you yield. Continue in it, and persevere.

Fighting Dragons

Dear friends, From a young age, as young as I can remember, I have been in the middle of a spiritual battle. Most of my earliest memories are nightmares of evil creatures coming to torment me in my dreams. I have already spoken of some of these horrors in previous posts, so I will not go into detail here. However, I want to revisit this topic because there has been a significant update to this story.

I have slept peacefully for many nights since dealing with those demons of the past; However, over the past months I have had multiple dreams in which Satan came to me to kill me. The first two dreams were especially intense, the first of which he was in the form of a dragon, breathing fire, flying around, and using several different tactics to attack me. In the second dream he was in the form of a man and he used smooth words to trap me. In both of those dreams I was shown that I needed to face him myself instead of relying on other people to win this battle for me. I couldn’t depend or rely on my spiritual leaders to set me free; God would give me the strength to face him myself.

In each instance I prayed into the dreams and sought God desperately because of their intensity. After prayer each time, I felt a powerful peace come over me that couldn’t be penetrated. Some time passed, at least a couple of months, before I had two more dreams in the same night.

In these next two dreams, I could see that God the Father was watching over me. I again faced a dragon that wanted to harm me. However, this time things were different. A brother stood by me and submitted his heart to God. He truly lay himself down in the presence of God. His heart was in complete worship to God. I could see that God the Father was looking at my brother and me standing there, facing the dragon. Then my brother started forcefully praying against the dragon! He started asking God to rebuke it, curse it, and smite it!

Well, it’s safe to say God wasted no time in doing the very things asked of him! He struck that dragon down right where it stood. That wretched thing couldn’t move after only three strikes! I stood there amazed. I was just given the key to win the fight against dragons!

Again, I was facing another dragon. This one was much like the first, intending to harm me. I felt fear start to creep in until I saw God appear again. He turned and looked at me. As soon as the father looked at me, I felt peace come into me. I remembered the previous dragon fight and submitted myself to my Father, right before the dragon in front of me. I truly surrendered everything, holding nothing back. Once I had entered that place of worship (I felt a change in my spirit), I started praying against the dragon. God responded promptly and struck the dragon down. It was utterly defeated!

Once I awoke, I put this prayer into practice immediately. I felt the results immediately in my spirit and I was soaring! I felt so free and so powerful. I knew I had a huge amount of authority, given to me by God.

I remembered the verse in James that says:

So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
James 4:7

Over the years of facing spiritual battles I have prayed James 4:7 many times, but never with the success I recently had. I believe there is a grace that God gives when he reveals something specifically to us. The verse was no less true before my dreams as it was after, yet it was only when I held the revelation of the verse for myself that it was truly effective.

When I had the revelation of James 4:7 I realised that it is far more powerful than what it seems. The verse doesn’t describe the level of humility required, how far the heart needs to go to submit to God before you are in a position to resist the devil. I also didn’t realise that I needed to pray from that place of submission and ask God to take down the devil. I thought I had to resist him in my own strength.

So as you can see, there is a big difference when you understand something in your heart. When God showed me how James 4:7 works, I no longer came to incorrect conclusions. I got the essence of the revelation, not just the idea of it. It went past my head and into my heart. I pray he will show you too.

I want to encourage you to face your dragons, whatever form they may come in. When you are faithful to keep fighting and praying, our father hears you and will give you the specific strategy to defeat the enemy.

May the God of peace richly bless you.

No More Addiction

I haven’t written for some time. After changing my degree at uni, my job, moving house and having a girlfriend I haven’t found a lot of time… Now that my life has settled down again I want to write more often. Having said this, I’m coming back strong – I want to give an update on my post from the 7th March which talked about my past addiction to porn.

If you haven’t read the post, take a look at it here. In the post, I share my feelings on porn and how difficult it is to quit. Reading it now reminded me of how bleak it seemed at the time. However, I haven’t watched porn from the 1st of April! (Take that, devil!) Anyway… There were a few things that helped me go from minimising the addiction to completely quitting:

Accountability – I was accountable to a friend who was also struggling. I started to be accountable to another man who had already dealt with porn and overcome it.
Keeping busy having fun – Always having something to do helped me to entirely forget about porn. I stopped thinking about it, so I stopped watching it.
Blocking my main means of accessing porn – I would almost always watch porn on my phone. I asked a friend to put a password on my phone to block all porn material. If I wanted to watch it, I would have to go to my computer, which was unlikely.

Of course, there are many more things that helped me, but I’m not writing War and Peace… This is simply to encourage you if you’re struggling. Try these three things – they helped me and might help you too.

I want to share a Bible verse to encourage you. 1 Corinthians 10:13 ‘No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.‘

God IS faithful and He WILL provide the way of escape.

The Mind Battle

Public speaking has always terrified me in the past. There is no denying it. I would stress for weeks before the event. During the talking, fear filled my mind, and I couldn’t think straight. Next, my legs would forget how to operate. I was fighting to stay standing! The fear I experienced was so intense that even at the last minute I had thoughts of backing out. “There must be some way to get out of this!”

Unfortunately, the fear and negative thoughts I experienced weren’t limited to public speaking. I set a fitness goal of running five kilometres in twenty minutes. After over twenty weeks of progressing slowly, (taking my time from 28:00 to 24:04), I thought about giving up. I really didn’t see how it was possible to achieve my goal in any reasonable amount of time. My thoughts toward my goal were mostly negative.

Can you relate? Have you had negative thoughts stop you from achieving your goals?

In the case of public speaking, it was only recently that I realised that my fear was fake. I realised that the anxiety only exists in my mind, and to overcome it I must deny EVERY negative thought and turn it into a positive one. The result was that after being invited to speak in front of 150 people for ten minutes, the stress that usually comes was replaced with excitement and anticipation! Wait, what?! I was excited to speak! During the speaking, I still struggled to get started, but after a couple of minutes I was really confident and fired up. I spoke from my heart and overcame. I was walking around the stage, boldly and clearly speaking with the help of The Holy Spirit.

I am still yet to achieve my fitness goal, but after adopting this same thought pattern of thinking positively, I have trained daily and taken my time (running 5 km) from 24:04 to 21:37 in just three weeks!
Your success depends on the health of your mind. You are capable of so much more than what you think you are!

2 Corinthians 10:3-6 says ‘For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.‘

The Bible commands us to take every thought captive. Notice the language here: the word captive implies there is a war, and your thoughts are the enemy! Wow. This is serious. The good news is that you can overcome and win this battle by forcing each thought into surrender to God.

Positivity In Place Of Negativity

Last week my pastor asked me to share as part of a Sunday service, and I accepted. During the week leading up to the service, I had many thoughts tell me I couldn’t and shouldn’t follow through. These thoughts filled me with stress and anxiety because I didn’t deal with them. I wanted to quit before I had even started.

The day before the service I decided to take ownership of my thoughts. When a negative thought entered my mind, I turned it into a positive one. For example, “You aren’t good enough. You’re going to embarrass yourself.” turned into “I have prepared thoroughly, and The Holy Spirit will speak through me.” By repeating positive thoughts over and over, the stress inside me slowly started to decrease. By the next day, I was calm and collected. I still had some negative thoughts to deal with, but overall I was positive.

The message couldn’t have gone much better in the end, and it just proved to me that many thoughts are lies, especially the negative ones.

James 1:12 says ‘Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.‘ There is much blessing for all who remain faithful and commit even through trials.

Have you been outside of your comfort zone? How did you overcome stress or anxiety?

Take Control of Your Emotions

I was alone in my bedroom when I finally couldn’t hold it in any longer. My shoulders started to shake, and I began to cry. I was upset because I was following my emotions, and they were dictating my mood. I had a decision to make; I could continue to allow my feelings to control me, or I could take control of myself and go to God.

When I look at my life, I want to see a man of God who is firm and secure. I want to see courage, faith and fearlessness.

What do you want to see in your life? Perhaps you also want to be secure, firmly planted on the rock that is Christ. Maybe you want to have more control over your impulses and desires.

I have good news! Every impulsive desire, failure or fear can be overcome by renewing your mind.

When I was alone in my bedroom, I chose to pray. After praying a little while, I started playing worship music and singing. After only a few minutes, my emotions turned from sadness to contentment. I knew deep down how much God loves me.

If you want to take control of your emotions, actions and ultimately, your life, get alone with God and refresh yourself. Don’t just leave God in the part of your day where you do your devotion, but instead live with Him. If you see a need for more strength, don’t hesitate to ask Him.

Romans 12:2 says ‘Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.‘

Run to Win!

Tonight after a successful night of bible study I was highly motivated. I went to the gym and started thinking. As I lifted weight after weight, I realised at that moment that no single event in my life determines my future. I have to decide every day if I want to run or not. I choose whether to win or lose.

I cannot put my trust in myself, nor can I sit back and do nothing – faith without action is dead. Every day brings new opportunity, and each successful day builds onto the previous ones.

If you are discouraged by what life has dealt you, move past it by kneeling by your bed and praying! Next time life is too much, go back again and pray. Tomorrow may be even harder than today, but again, pray.

1 Corinthians 9:24-25 says ‘Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.‘

Don’t give up.

Challenged, or Changed?

I attend church every week, and each week a new message is taught. The problem is, I find I often don’t think about what was spoken until I prepare for the weekly Bible study (my church calls it a community). The question I have to ask myself is this: If I’m not thinking about the message, how can I be actively working on my character in that area?

I find myself going to church each week, coming away challenged, but not investing the time each day to review what was spoken and working throughout the day to achieve that higher standard. Distractions are stopping me from applying the truths I learn!

These distractions remind me of the parable of the sower in Matthew. Matthew 13:20-21 says “The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.” In this parable, I believe it is easy to be the rocky ground. Although I agree with the message and find it frees me, if I don’t apply it to my life every day, it will have no lasting effect. If there is no lasting effect, am I only attending church for a good feeling? Am I a Christian?

I have started making the community a place to be accountable. I think it is fair to say most people struggle with similar problems. Because of these struggles, we can relate and have grace toward each other. We encourage each other to apply the word and acknowledge when we aren’t living up to what we should be. We create strategies to overcome the hardest obstacles.

Can you relate to this? Do you notice yourself going to Church but not always applying the teaching? The best way to turn from being challenged to changed may be to find a Bible study that keeps you accountable.

The Struggle With Pornography

I’m going to get real; I struggle with pornography. I have struggled with it from a young age; I started watching it around the time I was 11 years old. This time was when all my hormones started going crazy! I didn’t know what was happening, but I knew I liked girls!

I didn’t ask my parents for help during this stage, and because my parents homeschooled me, I never learned about sex. Being so curious, I started exploring everything online; This was a terrible move! I quickly found online pornography and got addicted. It escalated so fast, I found myself watching it for three to four hours every day!

At the age of sixteen, I found God and realised this habit needed to stop. So I quit for one day. Then I started again. I didn’t know how hard this would be, and I didn’t realise how long I would struggle.

The number of times I have tried to stop is too many to count. The number of times I have prayed asking God to take it away is also too many to count. I have tried many different techniques to help fight it. Some techniques helped, but none have stopped me from going back. Over time the amount of pornography consumed has decreased significantly (2 – 3 hours/week, down from 21 – 28 hours), but the last push to completely stop feels beyond my human ability.

I have had many thoughts of doubt and judgement. I have often thought I am not good enough to be a leader in any way because of this sin in my life. I have experienced incredible shame. I have felt isolated and alone. I have cried to God for hours on end – crying to the point my eyes hurt even to open them.

I get strength from Romans 7:15-20 which says “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin living in me that does it.”

I will not give up. If you are also struggling with this, don’t give up. I believe God will empower us to overcome! If you are comfortable, comment below on your struggle and how God has helped you so far.

Overcoming Fear

From a young age, I remember experiencing nightmares. These nightmares weren’t just scary dreams; they were torture from hell. In any given night I would find myself running. I was running from hungry animals: wolves, dogs, bears, lions or snakes. These animals were after me to devour me. After running and hiding as much as I could, eventually, these animals would find me and would tear me apart, limb from limb and eat me alive. I remember waking after each dream covered in thick sweat, my little heart pounding inside my chest violently. At that waking moment, I realised I was in a dream, but the fear was just as real after waking. At that time, I would find I had wet myself. From age 4 through till 8 I was afraid to fall asleep because I knew I wouldn’t find rest. Home life was far from ideal, and after a stressful day at home, I would experience an even more terrifying night. This stress led to bad sleeping habits and wetting the bed every night up until age 7.

Thankfully, the story doesn’t end there; I would go on to discover God’s love for me and the power it has to overcome fear. At 15 years old I started praying that if God were real, He would find me and help me. At 16 during one of my prayers, God’s love came and ‘washed over’ me. It is a feeling hard to describe, but I will do my best. This feeling of love was so powerful that I couldn’t stop crying. The crying was extreme. I couldn’t control it. At that moment I knew I was loved. I knew I was important and not forgotten. All the years of neglect and abuse vanished in an instant. My built up hate toward others was also taken away. All my fear became empty and vanished.

In the Bible, 1 John 4:18 says “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” This verse is right in my life. If I ever feel fear, I pray and worship with everything I have.

If you have a problem with fear, you have a problem with love. Pray that God will show you the love He showed me.

Prayer: God, I ask that you show me your love. I want to know you more intimately and want to be free from fear. I know that fear is never from you, so I pray that you would free me from it. Let the love you show me flow through me to others that they may also know your love. Amen.