Forgiving Like Jesus

Today I was reading the story of Joseph from the book of Genesis. As the story goes, his brothers are jealous of him and exchange him as a slave. He is taken to Egypt and sold to work for the rest of his sorry life. At this point, he has a choice to make. He can hold a grudge and hate his life; He has every reason to hate his brothers, and every excuse to be angry. On the other hand, he could choose to forgive his brothers and make the most of his situation. He chose the latter.

In my life, I have had to choose between forgiving and holding a grudge many times. Although I haven’t been sold out by my brothers, people I care about have hurt me deeply. I had to learn to forgive my parents, even though they didn’t deserve it. (There were many problems at home, and eventually, my parents divorced.) Because I chose to forgive, I am now able to love again.

The path of forgiveness is hard and long, but very important. I forgive by taking each negative thought captive and turning it into a positive one. For example, when a thought comes, that says ‘I can’t believe [this] happened. How could mum or dad do that?!’ I stop and think. ‘Yes, that bad thing happened, and it shouldn’t have, but I forgive them, and I love them unconditionally because that is how God loves.’

Challenged, or Changed?

I attend church every week, and each week a new message is taught. The problem is, I find I often don’t think about what was spoken until I prepare for the weekly Bible study (my church calls it a community). The question I have to ask myself is this: If I’m not thinking about the message, how can I be actively working on my character in that area?

I find myself going to church each week, coming away challenged, but not investing the time each day to review what was spoken and working throughout the day to achieve that higher standard. Distractions are stopping me from applying the truths I learn!

These distractions remind me of the parable of the sower in Matthew. Matthew 13:20-21 says “The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.” In this parable, I believe it is easy to be the rocky ground. Although I agree with the message and find it frees me, if I don’t apply it to my life every day, it will have no lasting effect. If there is no lasting effect, am I only attending church for a good feeling? Am I a Christian?

I have started making the community a place to be accountable. I think it is fair to say most people struggle with similar problems. Because of these struggles, we can relate and have grace toward each other. We encourage each other to apply the word and acknowledge when we aren’t living up to what we should be. We create strategies to overcome the hardest obstacles.

Can you relate to this? Do you notice yourself going to Church but not always applying the teaching? The best way to turn from being challenged to changed may be to find a Bible study that keeps you accountable.

The Struggle With Pornography

I’m going to get real; I struggle with pornography. I have struggled with it from a young age; I started watching it around the time I was 11 years old. This time was when all my hormones started going crazy! I didn’t know what was happening, but I knew I liked girls!

I didn’t ask my parents for help during this stage, and because my parents homeschooled me, I never learned about sex. Being so curious, I started exploring everything online; This was a terrible move! I quickly found online pornography and got addicted. It escalated so fast, I found myself watching it for three to four hours every day!

At the age of sixteen, I found God and realised this habit needed to stop. So I quit for one day. Then I started again. I didn’t know how hard this would be, and I didn’t realise how long I would struggle.

The number of times I have tried to stop is too many to count. The number of times I have prayed asking God to take it away is also too many to count. I have tried many different techniques to help fight it. Some techniques helped, but none have stopped me from going back. Over time the amount of pornography consumed has decreased significantly (2 – 3 hours/week, down from 21 – 28 hours), but the last push to completely stop feels beyond my human ability.

I have had many thoughts of doubt and judgement. I have often thought I am not good enough to be a leader in any way because of this sin in my life. I have experienced incredible shame. I have felt isolated and alone. I have cried to God for hours on end – crying to the point my eyes hurt even to open them.

I get strength from Romans 7:15-20 which says “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin living in me that does it.”

I will not give up. If you are also struggling with this, don’t give up. I believe God will empower us to overcome! If you are comfortable, comment below on your struggle and how God has helped you so far.

One Simple Way to Hear God Speak

Ask Him! Okay, but what happens if God doesn’t answer? How do I know God is speaking?

If you find that God isn’t speaking to you, ask the following questions: Am I praying daily? Am I listening? A conversation is two-way. Ask God your questions each day. Keep in mind that He loves persistence. (Luke 18:1-8) When it comes to listening, I find it natural to use my ears. (Duh!) The thing is, God doesn’t usually speak to us this way. He likes to use dreams, visions and the Bible. Dreams and visions are awesome, but the Bible is possibly the simplest way to hear God speak. It can be very black and white. “Love your neighbour” and “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” are simple, yet profound truths. Too often I have found myself looking past these powerful words for something ‘more spiritual’, forgetting that these words are inspired by God, filled with life and power! When I read the Bible, I stop regularly and pray short prayers, asking God to help me understand it and live it out — praying while reading God’s Word opens up my heart to listen.

Whenever I am unsure if a thought is from God or my own, I judge it against the Bible. If it follows God’s heart, shown in the Bible, I can be reasonably sure it is from Him. However, if the idea is contrary, I will dismiss it.

Hebrews 4:12 says “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.“

I encourage you to read one chapter or more each day to improve your hearing and discernment.

Overcoming Fear

From a young age, I remember experiencing nightmares. These nightmares weren’t just scary dreams; they were torture from hell. In any given night I would find myself running. I was running from hungry animals: wolves, dogs, bears, lions or snakes. These animals were after me to devour me. After running and hiding as much as I could, eventually, these animals would find me and would tear me apart, limb from limb and eat me alive. I remember waking after each dream covered in thick sweat, my little heart pounding inside my chest violently. At that waking moment, I realised I was in a dream, but the fear was just as real after waking. At that time, I would find I had wet myself. From age 4 through till 8 I was afraid to fall asleep because I knew I wouldn’t find rest. Home life was far from ideal, and after a stressful day at home, I would experience an even more terrifying night. This stress led to bad sleeping habits and wetting the bed every night up until age 7.

Thankfully, the story doesn’t end there; I would go on to discover God’s love for me and the power it has to overcome fear. At 15 years old I started praying that if God were real, He would find me and help me. At 16 during one of my prayers, God’s love came and ‘washed over’ me. It is a feeling hard to describe, but I will do my best. This feeling of love was so powerful that I couldn’t stop crying. The crying was extreme. I couldn’t control it. At that moment I knew I was loved. I knew I was important and not forgotten. All the years of neglect and abuse vanished in an instant. My built up hate toward others was also taken away. All my fear became empty and vanished.

In the Bible, 1 John 4:18 says “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” This verse is right in my life. If I ever feel fear, I pray and worship with everything I have.

If you have a problem with fear, you have a problem with love. Pray that God will show you the love He showed me.

Prayer: God, I ask that you show me your love. I want to know you more intimately and want to be free from fear. I know that fear is never from you, so I pray that you would free me from it. Let the love you show me flow through me to others that they may also know your love. Amen.

The Power of Relationship

Today I found it natural to spend time with God. My devotion didn’t feel forced, but instead very refreshing. I have often experienced reading the Bible, praying and worshipping as dry and dull. I can’t wait to finish so I can do something else. I don’t feel a real connection because I’m not there for the right reasons. I have found myself being there to ‘tick the devotion box.’ Today was different when I felt a natural pull toward worshipping and praying. I found myself thoroughly enjoying the time and feeling disappointed when it ended.

Real relationships are based on love. I will never build a strong relationship by giving five minutes each day. I have a choice to make. I can give with generosity, or I can love the smallest amount possible. After giving my time I don’t feel like I lost what I have given, but instead, I feel like I have gained from it. Real relationships are built on love, not duty.

The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins With One Step.

I have started writing. Writing is the beginning of a new season not to attract attention, earn money, gain respect, or get fame. I don’t want to do this. I am writing to increase discipline through accountability. Some time ago, I believe God told me to start writing. I started a blog and wrote once. Two years later here I am. This time I am paying to host a site, with the goal of writing every day for a year. I want to see what happens when I put faith into action.

Who am I? My name is Caleb, and I am 23 years old. I live in Adelaide while studying at UniSA. I am also working casual hours as a Junior Software Engineer at a small company. I have a gym membership and regularly visit. I attend a local church.

I want to share my experience this past week, but to do that we need to go back a bit further. When I was young, I found pleasure in other people acknowledging me. Through achieving great results, I found respect, honour, and most importantly, acceptance from others. I have seen that everyone needs love. I needed it more than anyone else. The only way I thought I could find love was to succeed. This drive to succeed caused me to strive hard and be the best at everything I could. I trained hard and grew extremely competitive.

This week God has spoken in many ways, directing me to focus my attention to Him rather than a future career. The change from a world’s perspective to God’s is tough! However, after spending a week focusing on spending time reading the bible, praying and worshipping at every spare moment, I started feeling different. Rather than desiring to succeed at all costs, I started wanting God. I was hungry for the presence of God, but I couldn’t get enough.